Joke Books
by PhoenixChick572
Summary: A one shot Fremione story. The second chapter is just for curious people.
1. Story

_What'll I do? I like him. A lot! He would never like me though. I'll just talk to him. Seduce him maybe. Let's go!_ Hermione thought as she hopped out of bed, got dessed and ready for class. She headed sown to breakfast and plopped down next to Fred, the only other one up this early. "Hey." she said. He snorted. "Hey yourself." she turned slightly pink. "What's going on?" "Nothing really. You?" he responded. "I'm good. Any new products?" she asked. "Yah. WWW trademarked 'Who's Love' potion. Its a potion, where if you take it, you get one red tally mark on your left wrist if you love someone, and a blue one on your right wrist if someone loves you. If it's requited, you get a nice black one on your left wrist. Scars if they die. Disappear if you get over it. Cool, huh?" "Truth or Dare."she said simply. He tilted his head slightly to the right and gave her a confused look. "It's a muggle game. If you say truth, I ask you a question and you MUST answer truthfully. If you say dare, I dare you to do something and you MUST do it." "Ok. Dare." he said, with a devilish grin.

"I dare you take take a sip of the 'Who's Love' potion." she said, all the while grinning mischievously.

"O-ok." he said. He quickly pulled out a bottle of the stuff, and took a sip. Suddenly, he summoned rags and they tied themselves around his wrists. "Hey!" she exclaimed. "No fair!" "You didn't specify." he replied. He then asked her the question and she chose dare as well, copying him with the rags. Though she felt an odd sensation that felt like a marker being dragged down her wrists soon afterward.

"Truth or dare?" she asked. "Dares always." he smirked. "Fine. I dare you to take of a ribbon of your choice." "Mioneeeeee." "Its a dare! You have to! Allons-y! Allons-y!" He looked at her questioningly. "It means 'Let's go.' I speak French and its hard to stick to one language, ok? Now do it!" "Fine!" he said and peeled off his right with a black tally and his left with another. "I said one, but ok." she snorted. He, however had a look of utter surprise on his face and was blushing a furious crimson. "Are you ok, Freddy?" she asked smirking. "Truth or dare, Mione?" "Dare." "Off with yours." "Fine."

She pulled off hers to find a single black tally on each. "Well who's blushing now?" he asked after seeing her blushing bright pink. "I forgot to tell you one thing about the potion." he said "When two black tally marks are next each other, and belong together, they start flashing pink." She looked down to see their tallies flashing a hot pink. She leaned in and kissed him passionately.

"Get a room, Why don't ya?" said Harry, sitting down. "Especially before Ron gets here." he added with a worried glance at the doors. "He'd be pissed." "Um c'mere please, Freddy." Hermione said quickly, dragging Fred out by the wrist. "So," she said looking uncomfortable. "Do you want to be in a serious relationship with me, Fred?" "Gods above, yes!" he exclaimed. "Well, then you need to know this." She cast a charm so nobody but him could hear what she said and vice versa. "Well, when I was in a relationship with Ronald, all he wanted was sex. To get me in bed with him. Then I felt him becoming distant from me, so I agreed. I was foolish.

"I gave up my virginity to him, and got pregnant. I didn't know this though. Later on, I walked in on him shagging that slutty whore, Lavender Brown. I was livid. He broke up with me basically saying he could shag who he wanted because I didn't own him. Then after I found out I was pregnant, I told him. He said I was lying just to get back together with him. Now he hates me and gets pissed when I'm in relationships." she explained with a sigh. "My brother is the biggest arse in the entire planet." Fred said, astonished.

"I know." She said. Now I've been pregnant nine months and the baby's due date is actually next week. I've been concealing the bump with a charm and the side affects with a potion." "Alright. If you need someone, I'm here." comforted Fred. "Seeing as you're sixteen and I'm seventeen, I will be out of Hogwarts this year, and will be living with George and Angelina in the apartment above WWW. My bed is king sized so we'll be fine and I can take care of the kid for a year, and you can of course visit whenever. Here."

He handed her a small necklace. "Whenever you need to go there, pinch the necklace. Now you should be fine." "Thank you so much Fred." "Anything for my five year crush now girlfriend."

* * *

It hurt. So bad. But she got through it. And now she had a beautiful daughter. And a son. Unexpected, but, it is what it is. She loved them. Suddenly, Fred rushed in. "How are you darling?" he asked, giving her a kiss. "I'm fine, but TWINS? How am I going to handle this?..." "First, I'm here with you." he said with a smile. "Second, we'll be fine. I talked to Dumbledore. We have our own room. You know the portrait of the mother cradling her child?" At her nod, he continued. "Well tap the baby's nose, and then whisper to the mother 'It's me, for the twins.' and she'll open up. What are their name by the way?" "Well I was thinking Rose and Oliver." "Oliver is too stuck up. Ryan maybe?" "Ryan is perfect." she said lovingly. "Well now I'm making sure Ronald knows about them, and begs to come back. Obviously I will refuse. Then he will, for the rest of his life, have a feeling of guilt." "Perfect." Fred sneered. "He deserves it."

* * *

"Ronald. Come here." commanded Hermione. "Why? Morning sickness?" he scoffed. "No, I need to tell you something." She did something to a portrait then shoved him inside, climbing in right after him. "I'm not pregnant." He smirked. "No shit." "Anymore. But meet your twin son and daughter." She opened a door to reveal two cradles, each with a child in it, the names ' _Rose_ ' and ' _Ryan_ ' engraved on them. He began "Oh, Mione, I am so sorry, will you ever for-" "No." she said, cutting him off. "I will never _**EVER**_ forgive you Ronald Bilius Weasley. Besides, I have a boyfriend." Using magic, she forced him out the door and before she shut it he sneered "Who is that fool?" Fred casually leaned against the wall. "Me." Ron fainted and Fred shut the portrait.

* * *

 **11 YEARS LATER**

Rose and Ryan waved to their parents as the train departed. "Let's hope they have as exciting a first year as we did, honey." Hermione whispered. "I'm sure they will." Fred replied with a kiss.


	2. Epilogue

**Rose**

House: Hufflepuff

Patronus: Hedgehog

Boggart: Love

 **Ryan**

House: Hufflepuff

Patronus: Hedgehog

Boggart: Clowns


	3. Authors Note

**Hey guys. This ones to Binka. The point wasnt really for this to be a one shot and was just something happening. If anyone wants to turn this into a full story, be my guest. I just would like credit please. Also, the boggart of someone afraid of love, is left up to your imagination.**


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